So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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