So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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