did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
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she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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