I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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