just come out here and I will go home with you...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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