Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize