"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize