i would punch a child for taco bell
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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