Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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