i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize