You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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