overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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