We're facebook friends in real life
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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