Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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