Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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