Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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