P.S. I can't hear my feet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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