Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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