I wanna passion pit in your ass
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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