so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize