So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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