woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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