when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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