I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize