so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My vagina just clenched in fear
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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