and i looked up. we had an audience...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize