I accidentally had phone sex last night
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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