We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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