also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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