i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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