So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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