Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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