Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize