I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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