If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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