She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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