Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have demons in me.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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