The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize