oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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