Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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