who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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