Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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