my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pooping to opera.
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