The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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