Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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