East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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