let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
40s are totally the cure
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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