I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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