How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize