ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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